The Plus-size Princess Takes Her Prize.....

           Yes, that is right.....today was the day!! And an early day at that! However, in truth....it all began yesterday with the excitement of the Fit for a Princess Expo at the ESPN Wide World of Sports Complex at the Walt Disney World Resort. Even though Friday was a typical morning where I had to wake up early and get Kevin and the kids to work and school, I practically bounded out of bed. I was so excited for the events that would unfold for me this weekend.

The welcome sign as you entered the Wide World of Sports Complex for the Fit for a Princess Expo!

         As I entered the complex....I felt the rush of knowing that within less than 24 hours of this time, I will have completed my first 5k. I can't speak from very much experience, but I was absolutely blown away by how organized everything was....from the disaster that parking had the potential to be, down to the packet pick up....it was all in perfect working order, like a well-oiled machine. 

Inside the packet pick up area

              Everything inside was so beautiful and was created to pump that magical adrenaline into you through every pore. I found myself wanting to tear up from the excitement. They even had a carriage and footmen there where you could have your picture taken if you were willing to wait in the line. They managed to get me pretty good at the merchandise area where I found myself desperate to take home anything with a runDisney logo on it.....but then it was time to head out.
            This city has been brutal this weekend. Someone with a great deal of brillance scheduled the NBA All Star Game, the Daytona 500 and the Princess Half Marathon weekend all in the same weekend. When I left the expo, I experienced the joy of a 45 minute traffic backup on my way back to my husband's work to meet him for lunch! AYE YAY YAY!!
           I was ready to go home and get some rest by mid-day in preparation for the upcoming events, but much to my chagrin...it was also my kid's Science Fair at school, followed by my son's 7:30 PM basketball game (which of course, went into overtime...their first loss of the season). By the time I got home to get myself settled in for bed it was almost 10 pm and my pick-up was scheduled for 4:30 am.
         With insane levels of adrenaline and excitement flowing through my veins, I didn't sleep very well....and pretty much laid in bed watching tv from 2 am until I started getting ready at 3:40 am.

From Left: Me, Jessica, Natalie and Katelyn, waiting for the 5k to begin!

                      Once we arrived at EPCOT, the party began. It was a cool morning, but the music was pumping and everyone was dancing and excited. No one even noticed the cold within a matter of minutes. Rapunzel, Flynn Ryder and Maximus (a REAL horse), got us ready to take off when the race began and they shot off awesome fireworks (in true Disney Spirit) in lieu of the inaugural "gunshot". AND OFF WE WENT.....

                I can say without question that mile one was the most challenging for me. I knew that with my weight I could not take off like a shot and I had no intention of doing so, because I wanted to be able to finish the race on my feet (not on a stretcher). One of the hardest moments was when I realized I was getting passed by people pushing strollers....for a moment I wanted to cry and wondered where I was going to end in this pack of over 5000 runners.
             While one would typically think that the FINISH LINE is the greatest moment of euphoria,... for me.....it was the arrival of Mile Marker 1.

I arrived at Mile 1 at 23 minutes and change but after almost 2 min waiting for my chance at a picture by the marker, I opted out, took this shot and kept going.

                                       


                As I saw the marker about 100 yards in front of me, I did a fist pump and quietly uttered "YES!!" I knew I was almost 1/3 of the way done. My calves were beginning to cramp, but just as I had learned to do in training, I pushed through the pain and persevered. What seemed like a short distance from mile marker 1, we came to the first water stop....this was VERY exciting on two points. 1) It was WATER....and I was ready for it! 2) It meant that I had officially made it to 1.5 miles.....and things we going smoothly now.
          At this point we had entered the theme park (the first mile and 4/10 was actually in the parking and backlot areas). This made the remainder of the walk much more exciting. So many things to look at.....it passed by like no time at all. There were many character photo ops along the way and lots of runners stopped to get pics, but I pushed on and before I knew it,.......I was at Mile Marker 2!!!

Here I am at Mile Marker 2!! My school buddy Tiffany took this pic for me as she just happened to catch me as we reached this spot! I don't think I look ready to die or anything.....LOL!

                At mile marker 2, I was excited because I knew I had made it to the point that they were not going to cut the course on me. I was going to do this....and I was going to do every step of it. I was beginning to feel the energy draining from me shortly after this but I was determined. I could do this.....I knew I could and I wouldn't let anything stop me. I was walking most of it but would throw in the occasional short jog to try to keep up a better pace.
               As I came out of the World Showcase and rounded the turn onto the bridge to Future World....I saw Spaceship Earth (the big golfball...LOL) in front of me and I knew I was almost there. I would definitely persevere. We rounded back into a backstage area after we walked around the Leave a Legacy Monuments in the front of the park and that is where I saw one more beautiful sign......Mile Marker 3!

Once again, I photographed a stranger by the mile marker, so as to not lose anymore time.

             There it was.....just maybe 500 yards or so away....the FINISH LINE!! It was so close I could taste it. People were cheering and making everyone feel like a winner. I began to tear up as I saw it in front of me.

The Finish Line just ahead in the distance.....

                         I managed to hold the tears back for the most part and just raised my arms up in the air in absolute triumph. I had reached the finish line of a race I wasn't convinced that morning that I could complete....and I had done it in a time that I was very, very proud of......

Crossing the Finish Line at the Royal Family 5k!

                                       ONE HOUR ELEVEN MINUTES AND 51 SECONDS!!!

With my medal at the end of the race!

                  The best part of this day was finding belief in myself and knowing that if I want to persevere, I can. Weight is just an excuse. I can do anything through God who strengthens me! And I learned that not everyone in the world judges you for being a big girl and that many of them will give you all the love and support you could every imagine.
               I am proud of my accomplishment and feel that my time was phenominal for the condition that my body is in and if I gained nothing else.....I gained a wonderful time with my friend and a new respect for myself!

Jess and I before the Race!

My prize for my hard work and accomplishment!

                                         

                                  

The Fast and the Furiously Frightened!

     Well, the time has come. I can hardly believe it is already here. Tomorrow morning I will be in line at the Fit for a Princess Expo picking up my race packet and getting ready to hit the course Saturday morning.
     I am truly beyond excited and yet scared as a churchmouse. I have been training for this race for the past couple of weeks and I was successful in accomplishing nearly 2 miles in about 35 min just one week ago tomorrow. I wish I could say that I have had a great deal of opportunity to train this week, but I would be lying. Between homework assignments and exams this week in school and the simple fact that the weather hasn't been very cooperative, I have not gotten a single walk in this week.
         I have quickly come to find what a positive and encouraging community of women are involved in this group though. Just one simple post on Facebook on the RunDisney site regarding my nervousness/excitement toward this weekends race has gotten me loads of encouraging comments.
       Not to mention all of the people that I have come to find within the circle of people that I am acquainted with that are either participating and are so proud of me or those that are not participating themselves but have given me such wonderful encouragement that I will never forget it.  It is all of you! My friends, family, and even strangers who have convinced me to have faith in myself. It is all of you, whom I will be thinking about as I reaching mile marker after mile marker.
      I greatly look forward to sharing with you photos and stories of my experiences this weekend because without you, who knows if I would have had the faith to pull this off.

       All my love and appreciation,......
           The Running (ok....walking) princess.

Bad Dreams and Self-Esteem

           Have you ever had one of those dreams where you woke up and felt like your entire world had been shaken? Like the pain was so real you almost couldn't distinguish the dream from reality?

              That was me in the wee hours of Sunday morning. My husband of almost 11-years and I have almost always had a good relationship. Like any couple, we have had our ups and downs, but for the most part it has been a secure, happy life. But then came the arrival of these dreams....recurring and devastating.
              Please, don't misunderstand me. The dreams have not affected the relationship that I have with my husband in any way other than my lack of self-esteem and ability to trust. In the dream....my husband first denies that he is having an affair and then after great persistance from me, coldly and cruelly tells me that he is, in fact, in love with someone else and that he is leaving me.
              Anyone who knows my husband, knows that the likelihood of him ever doing something like that, let alone doing it with such malice and cruelty is beyond unlikely, but the recurrance of these dreams has left me with this fear that it is some kind of sign.
              I should also probably mention again that we are a one-car family and that ultimately, I know pretty much his every move. He is a good man....former clergy, in fact, so it really seems that this is unlikely to a serious degree and that the issue likely lies with me.

            
                                   Kevin and I on our wedding day!!
        

           Another reason for me to take joy in the 5k.....to help lose my butt!! I am confident that my dreams are stemming from a lack of confidence due to my weight. My husband married me as a plus size princess and has always loved me and found me beautiful, regardless, so it must be my self-image speaking to me in a rather loud tone of voice.
         I am working hard to fix my body and my own self-image. I used to be so secure and confident in the early years of our marriage and for one reason or another that has been drifting away year by year. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I continue this week to prepare for the 5k which will be this coming Saturday. Lots of photos to come.....God Bless!! 
            

Oh....What a Difference Music and Water Makes...

         Well, let me begin by saying that I hope that everyone had a wonderful Valentine's Day, whether you have a significant other to make it special or you are single and just decided to partake of Tijuana Flats fantastic "Free Beer for Singles" offer. :)
       My Kevin was sweet enough, even with our modest budget due to my lack of employment, to purchase some beautiful pink roses and chocolate dipped strawberries for me, as well as making us a delicious dinner of Omaha steaks and butterfly shrimp. It was truly a lovely Valentine's Day for me.
       This morning I dressed for the day with the intent to walk myself into a frenzy. Sports bra -check! Yoga pants - check! Lightweight t-shirt - check! And Shape ups - check! I knew that my plan today was to go to the local mall and make use of the lovely air conditioned facilities.
        I swung into Target first....I wanted a bottle of water to take with me. Have you ever walked into Target and walked out with only what you intended to buy? That almost never happens for me. I went in and managed to talk myself out of purchasing an iPod when I discovered that they didn't sell an armband carrying case that would fit my phone, but didn't escape without an extra pair of yoga pants and some MiO to add to my water. I sure wish I liked water more all by itself but I don't. LOL
          I eventually ended up at Wal-mart where I discovered even more wonderful items to add to my workout wardrobe and......MY ARMBAND CASE FOR MY PHONE!! Yeah! I now had clothing, water, MiO and MUSIC!!! I was ready to go.
       I headed to the mall, parked the car, tied my hair back, loaded my water with MiO and set my playlist to the most hyped up music I had.....and I was off...
       I had the best walk I have had so far since I began training almost two weeks ago. Even wearing my shape ups, I felt pretty good all the way to the end! I managed to complete a walk that equalled about a mile and a half.....approximately half the distance of the 5k. The music and the water seemed to make all the difference. Even when I started to feel like I was dragging....the music almost seemed to push my body in forward movement.    
      I am beginning to feel more convinced with every passing day, that I will be able to successfully complete this 5k and that brings such a smile to my face. Being overweight almost my whole life has been hard, but I feel like this could be a real beginning to me finding a happy place for exercise. Lunch consisted of a small shrimp salad and unsweetened mango tea at Crispers with a long lost friend and I felt like a million bucks when I saw her.....all thanks to my walk.....and God of course. :) More to come.....

A Fun Day of Dilly"Dali"-ing

 I wish I could have the energy the my son Jordan and his friends have....
     After receiving Thursday's overjoying news, that for a change, we didn't have an oppressive homework assignment, I decided to join Jordan's class on their field trip to the Tampa Bay MOSI (or Museum of Science and Industry) and the Salvadore Dali Museum in St Petersburg.
              It was a wonderful day, but I am totally EXHAUSTED. Jordan's friends all wanted me as their chaparone for the trip so I ended up with 4 boys and a girl...all around 13 years old, that I was forced to chase all over the MOSI for two hours. They were well behaved, but they are so young. Up and down flights of stairs, running here there and everywhere. In the end, I guess it was great exercise for me.
              We got back with the class around 11 am and headed back to the school van for our "lunch on the run" as we drove to the Dali Museum.....now there is a place to see!! What a insanely mad genius, that Salvador Dali.  After that day's activities, I was whipped. I wished I could have bottled their energy and took sips whenever needed.
                Saturday, Jordan had another fantastic basketball game where his team won and then it was on to get the stuff for their science fair projects. I was so tired that I was dreading going to church Sunday morning....but then....it was like God knew what I needed to hear.
               Our sermon this Sunday was all about "running a marathon" and pacing yourself. Amazing how God works!!! I felt a renewed sense of energy and was ready come today to dive back into training for the race.
         I went to the mall this morning (because it was only 35 freaking degrees here in Florida!!) and walked my buns off. I felt great because I was making great progress. THEN....I made a fatal mistake. I gave myself a reality check.  I set my trip odometer and measured out 3.1 miles.
       I was almost ill. I could not believe how far that really is!! These people that do 13.1 miles (half marathon) are out of their fool heads. LOL I find them totally amazing! As I drove from their.....ready to cry, I popped in my Kelly Clarkson disk and blarred "Stronger" as loud as I could and as I bounced in my seat listening to it....I decided that I could do anything.....after all.....WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER....STAND A LITTLE TALLER.....

An Exam, A Dramatic Presentation and a Test of Will!!

  Today's question.....
      How in the world do you keep from getting leg cramps?? :)
   
   What a long day it has been! After a morning with the usual routine of taking the kids to school, the husband to work (we share a Toyota Prius....one car family, uggh!) I headed off to a day of working my legal briefs off. Family Law was a breeze, as it generally is, but then it was off to Criminal Litigation where I was saddled with our first major exam of the semester. Sadly, I have felt a little out of my norm since spring semester started. Last term, I was totally on fire....and I am afraid that it might have literally burned me out.
             The Christmas break gave me a nice reprieve from the huge workload I was carrying from 5 classes. I was so pleased to still manage to have a President's list qualifying GPA. And yet, in some ways, I feel like that much needed break kind of messed with my flow.
              As I continue training daily for the Disney Royal Family 5k.....I find similar issues. You know....the idea that you need to keep pushing through the pain? In some ways, I feel that way about school as well. Like, since I was already on a roll last semester, it might have been easier to keep pushing through the challenges than to have a break and try to start up again at the same pace I was maintaining.
             Anyway, following the exam, which I believe that I did fantastically at, I headed off to Professional Responsibility. Now....if you are also a paralegal in training, you already know that the topic of legal ethics is one that has the same affect on a person as.....well......a great big, heavy dose of Ambien!!!! It is the driest, most mind-numbing topic ever. In his effervescent way, our professor decided he should try to spice up the exciting world of ABA Model Rules (Rules that regulate Lawyers and Paralegals) by having us perform role plays of Paralegal Rule Violations. Now....I'll give him this....it certainly did make for a far more interesting class than usual.....BUT I HATE ROLE PLAY!! I am a paralegal in training, not a performing monkey in heels.
             Alas, I did my skit and I have to give myself kudos for my Oscar winning performance of a wife, scorned by her sick, adulterous husband! I was like "Meryl Streep" quality at least.....ok....maybe not, but it was still pretty damn good.
              I headed to legal research and writing and got the best news of the day. NO HOMEWORK THIS WEEKEND!! I hardly know what to do with myself knowing that I have to spend exactly ZERO hours in the law library.
              I guess that brings me to my walk this evening and my "question of the day." I went for my one mile walk around the pond at my husband's office. Again, why do I always think that I can take off on my walk like I am Jackie Joyner Kersee? I wasn't running, of course, but again I didn't stretch and again I dove into a power walk. By the 2nd lap I was hurting in my dominant leg again. YET.....and here is the exciting part.....I persevered through the pain and I finished my mile today. I even ran for about 30 seconds a couple of times during the course! I am making small strides in the right direction every day. I watched what I ate today as well (not as in, I WATCHED it go into my mouth either. LOL) .
          I am excited for the prospects in front of me. I know that these classes and this 5k are not going to be easy goals to get through, but I am proud of myself for working hard everyday to reach the rewards before me. More to come.......
  
                                     Suzi Q

             

Preparing for the Disney's Royal Family 5k.....

                              Have you ever stopped to look at yourself in the mirror and thought... "Dear Lord....how long am I going to let this go on??" That was my thought this past weekend when I was down in Miami for Jordan's basketball tournament...Jordan is my 12 year old son. So many times I think I intentionally breeze past mirrors, because I figure that if I go fast enough I won't have to acknowledge exactly what I look like.
                             This weekend in the hotel.....I let myself pause long enough to really see my reflection. It made me realize that in 3 months I will be 34 years old and I have been overweight for more than 75% of my life. I have had the ups and downs of dieting, usually successful for about 2-3 months and 30-40 lbs before I lose the will to fight and go back to my old ways.
                           Kevin, my husband, who has always loved me for who I was and has always told me that I was beautiful no matter what, has often encouraged me to get healthy so I could live longer with him and the kids. And that should have been enough....but I know now, it has to be something that you do because it is what you want. Having been overweight for so much of my life, I think I have become comfortable with it....and it is so hard to lose it that I just go back to my comfort zone...but no more!
                            I am bound and determined to change my ways....and that is where the Disney's Royal Family 5k comes in. For those of you that know me, you know that there is no bigger Disney freak than I. After taking Tatiana....my 5 year old daughter, to her friend Jaden's for a sleepover this weekend (what a crazy weekend, Miami and my baby's first sleepover???) I spoke with her mom who was telling me about the runDisney program. I knew about the Disney Marathon and Half-marathon and that they did a couple of other races throughout the year, but was unaware that all of these races have a "weekend" and that during those weekends they also have a 5k and kids races.
                          This set my mind to spinning. I know I need to get back in shape and what would be more motivating to a true life Disney Princess, than to be a participant in a Disney Princess 5k?? The next day as I sat in the law library (ahhh,...the life of a legal studies student!) I decided that I needed to do the 5k. I grabbed my laptop, begged one of my friends/classmates to do it with me, and proceeded to register without a second thought, knowing that there would be no turning back once it was done.....as the $50 registration fee is (gasp!!) NON-REFUNDABLE!
                         The excitement of knowing I was going to do this ran through me like lightning and once my ridiculously long assignment for Legal Research and Writing was completed, I headed home to start.....WALKING!! Understand that I am about 5'7" and just under 300 lbs. I carry my weight well and most people never guess that is how much I am carrying around, but I am. This is not going to be an easy feat for me...as they want you to maintain a 16 minute mile throughout the course.
                        For those of your that are unaware.....a 5k is the equivalent of 3.1 miles.....not that long in the grand scheme of things, and yet, not a distance I am overly prepared to do. So, I got home, changed into activewear and threw on my brand-new Sketchers Shape Ups....and booked out the door. Mistake #1!!!! I didn't stretch at all! Mistake #2!!! I booked out the door like I have been doing this everyday for a year! Mistake #3!!! My friend Kelly tried to warn me....but I didn't heed her when I chose to head out with my new shape ups. Kelly and I have been best friends since College (Take 1) in the late 90's. I am the matron of honor in her wedding in Boston this June. Just another great reason to lose some weight.
                        Anyway, as I begin walking things are going great....approx. 4/10 of a mile in 5 minutes.....but then.......AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! The calf of my dominant leg begins cramping. I am forced to slow way down....almost to the point that I am limping. I look up at the sky and think....why didn't I listen to Kelly when she told me this would happen?? I pushed myself to go and made it back to my house by an alternate route which was about 8/10 of a mile total rather than the full mile I intended to do.
                         I became scared that I wouldn't be successful at the 5k....but remembered that perseverance is everything. If I can have a 4.0 in legal studies,....I can work the 5k.....so off I go to keep at it.....more to come......